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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25609669">Schooled</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evergreene/pseuds/Evergreene'>Evergreene</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hawaii Five-0 (2010)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Episode: s03e03 Lana I Ka Moana (Adrift), Humour</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:33:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25609669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evergreene/pseuds/Evergreene</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is a merman. Danny is surprisingly ok with it. Crackish AU of 3.03.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Schooled</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have no excuse for this. It starts when they've found the dinghy and established the engine doesn't work. Warning for the overuse of exclamation marks because it's Danny and he's stressed. Thoughts are loved!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Do you trust me, Danny?’  </p>
<p>Steve’s voice had an odd edge to it as he bobbed in the water beside the white rubber dinghy, the bright sunlight reflecting gently on the waves ebbing about his shoulders, causing the surrounding saltwater to sparkle and dance like a shifting mirror. </p>
<p>Legs scooched up about him as he busily tried to skim seawater out of his hair, Danny paused to stare disbelievingly at the idiot Navy SEAL who had decided to get back into the ocean. ‘What?’ he snapped, the rubber matting of the boat squeaking underneath him as he shifted. ‘No! Of course I don’t trust you! And do you know why, Steven? I’ll tell you. Because of you, we’re stuck in a rapidly sinking boat-’ </p>
<p>‘Dinghy.’ </p>
<p>‘-dinghy, in the middle of the Pacific ocean, and, as if we needed something else to go wrong, there are sharks circling beneath us! Believe me when I say that trust does not come into this scenario in any way, shape or form!’ </p>
<p>Hooking a slippery, muscled arm over the side of the boat, Steve raised his hand so he could lift a dripping finger purposefully into the air. His hair was sticking up wildly. ‘Ok, first, Danny, technically, there’s only one shark beneath us. And I think it’s friendly. And two, we’re not stuck.’ </p>
<p>‘No? We’re in the middle of the ocean! See this big blue wet thing all around us?’ Danny flapped a vehement hand at the surrounding water to illustrate the point. ‘In what realm of reality is this not stuck?’ </p>
<p>‘In the one where you <em>trust me</em>.’  </p>
<p>Steve was looking up at Danny expectantly now, still hanging by one arm off the dinghy, and finally Danny heaved out a sigh. ‘Fine,’ he relented. ‘I trust you. So what are you gonna do to get us outta here? Because unless you’re secretly part-fish or something-’ </p>
<p>Without warning, Steve let go of the dinghy, pushing off it with a splash that sent the little craft bobbing and weaving amongst the waves. He had disappeared entirely and Danny surged forward, peering over the side of the boat in panic. ‘Steve?!’ he yelled to the empty ocean ‘Steve, you idiot, I was joking! Get back here! Hey, you hearing me?’ </p>
<p>Steve’s wet head appeared, dark hair plastered slickly down as he bobbed in the water before Danny, just by the dinghy’s curved side. Lifting up a hand, he held up the narrow white rope he had been messing with just before he had decided to dive back overboard, back when he was still inside their one and only floatation device like a sane person. ‘I’m going to tow us,’ he announced. </p>
<p>‘Tow us?’  </p>
<p>Yeah.’ </p>
<p>‘Back to shore.’ </p>
<p>‘Uh-huh.’ Having fashioned the rope into a neat loop, Steve was busily fastening it around himself, slinging it under one arm and over the other shoulder before knotting it tight. </p>
<p>‘The shore that’s a million miles or something that way.’ </p>
<p>Steve reached out an arm to nudge Danny’s arm in a different direction. ‘That way, but yeah.’ </p>
<p>Danny exploded. ‘Have you lost it?’ he yelled. ‘I mean, I know you’ve been hovering on the edge of sanity since you ninja’d your way into my life, but this, this is way out in crazy land, even for you. I mean, we’re talking straight off the edge of the map here. There’s no way you can tow this boat-’ </p>
<p>‘Dinghy.’ </p>
<p>‘-dinghy that far! No one could.’ </p>
<p>Giving his rope a quick tug to test it, Steve glanced down at where his chest met the water, looking abruptly shifty. ‘That’s where the trusting me part comes in, Danny.’  </p>
<p>Danny eyed him suspiciously. ‘Meaning what exactly?’ </p>
<p>Steve flicked his gaze up to Danny before dropping it again, returning his eyes to the apparently fascinating water. ‘Look, just- you have to remember I’m still me.’ </p>
<p>‘Of course you’re you. What else would you be? I mean, what, you gonna tell me you’ve sprouted flippers or something and are gonna swim us back to shore?’ </p>
<p>Steve chewed on his lip a little. ‘Uh, no. Not flippers.’ And with that, he turned his back to the boat and duck-dived in one smooth motion, disappearing under the water with his legs vanishing behind him. </p>
<p>No. Wait. </p>
<p>Danny stared, open-mouthed, at the blue-green shimmer of the scaled fishtail that had disappeared into the water after Steve. He blinked. Then, shaking his head, he gave himself a little slap on the cheek and, when that didn’t work, shook his head again and blinked some more, wondering if he had hit his head on something earlier when the crazy man had drawn the gun on them. </p>
<p>It was then Steve decided to pop up in the water, head bobbing a little further away from the boat this time as though he was nervous to approach it. Immediately, Danny craned his neck forwards, practically falling over the side of the boat as he sought to get a better look at Steve’s lower half, which, sure enough, had transformed into the scaly hide of a fish tail. </p>
<p>Gaping at it, he managed to raise a hand to point it at Steve. ‘You’re part fish!’ </p>
<p>‘Merman.’ </p>
<p>‘Merman! <em> Merman </em>!’ </p>
<p>‘You gotta breathe, Danny.’ </p>
<p>‘<em>What </em>?’ </p>
<p>‘You’re not breathing. Breathe.’ </p>
<p>‘Breathe? I’ll give you breathing, you seaweed-brained piece of man-sushi!’ </p>
<p>‘Hey!’ Steve said. He sounded annoyed, but underneath it Danny thought he detected a hint of hurt.  </p>
<p>Making the fairly radical call that it was maybe in his and Steve’s best interests for him to calm down a bit, Danny dropped back on his rear in the boat. Cursing a little as he landed right in a large puddle of seawater, getting his shorts wet all over again, he made sure to keep an eye on Steve, not wanting him to disappear into the big blue with any fishy brethren. Taking a minute, he ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing it as best he could, then finally pulled himself together enough to sort some words out. ‘So,’ he managed, doing his best to sound casual, ‘something you forgot to tell me about yourself, Steven?’ </p>
<p>Steve had the grace to look embarrassed as he lifted a hand to scratch awkwardly at the back of his neck. ‘Look,’ he started. ‘I was going to tell you, I just-’ </p>
<p>‘For<em>got </em>that sometimes you were part-fish?!’ </p>
<p>‘Breathe, Danny.’ </p>
<p>Danny forced himself to calm. ‘Breathing here.’ Inhaling deeply, he pushed himself up again until he was propped on the side of the boat and could take a good look at Steve, who obligingly lay back in the water a little so his tail came up to the surface, hovering just underneath the glistening waves. It was kind of pretty when you saw it properly, thought Danny, examining how the tanned skin at Steve’s waist, just below his belly-button, slid slowly from human into thin, glimmering scales, starting off pale then shifting into a deep blue-green that was almost the same colour as Steve’s eyes. They darkened all the way down, finally splitting into two graceful, glistening fins that he supposed were broad enough to help propel Steve through the waves. Because he was a <em> merman</em>. </p>
<p>Clearing his throat, he managed to give a slight nod of his head. Looking relieved, Steve sank back into the water again until only his head and the broad expanse of his shoulders were visible. </p>
<p>‘It’s one of those Hawaiian legends you hear about,’ he started, unprompted, ‘you know, shapeshifters and stuff? Gracie did that great project on them a few months back, remember-?’ At Danny’s look, he hurried on. ‘Anyway, there’s this story my Dad used to tell me, about this tidepool off the Big Island that only appears once every century or two, and if you swim in it at just the right time, well, things happen.’  </p>
<p>‘Like you grow a tail?’ Danny could not help asking sarcastically. </p>
<p>The tips of Steve’s ears turned pink. ‘Like you gain the power of the sea.’ Lifting his hand, he gave a quick twirl of his index finger and a little spout of water spiralled up into the air beside him before collapsing back into the ocean with a splash. </p>
<p>Danny stared, and Steve tried a tight, anxious smile. ‘Still me though.’ </p>
<p>‘Right,’ Danny drawled. Feeling a little bit more like himself with how normal Steve seemed, despite the whole merman debacle, Danny let out an aggrieved sigh, satisfied when Steve seemed to relax a bit at the sound. ‘So. Let me guess. Little Stevie McGarrett had the stupendously brilliant idea of looking for this pool, decided to go for a swim and ended up part fish for his trouble.’ </p>
<p>‘I was ten, Danny!’ </p>
<p>‘Fine, part baby-fish.’ </p>
<p>When Steve glared at him, Danny rolled his eyes. ‘Ok, so how does it work, huh? Do you turn when you get wet or something?’ </p>
<p>‘I’m in the Navy, Danny! Don’t you think someone would have noticed if I’d sprouted a tail every time I got a bit damp?’ </p>
<p>‘Alright, alright.’ Holding up his hands defensively, Danny allowed a smirk to creep into his face. No reason he couldn’t have a little fun with this, after all. ‘So what then? You click your heels three times and wish you were a dolphin?’ </p>
<p>Steve scowled. ‘No, I just... will it.’ He shrugged, the upper swirls of his tattoos rising out of the water a little way before subsiding again. ‘And it happens.’ </p>
<p>Danny took this in and thought for a moment, his good mood abruptly disappearing as a new thought struck him. ‘And in three years it’s not once come up as something you thought you should mention to me?’ </p>
<p>‘I don’t know, Danny, it’s not really something I tell everybody I come across.’ </p>
<p>‘Oh, that’s nice. I mean, that’s real nice, Steven. Puts me right in my place, doesn’t it?’ </p>
<p>It was Steve’s turn to roll his eyes. ‘That’s not what I meant.’ </p>
<p>‘Then what, exactly, did you mean, huh? Entrusting this big secret of yours to other people and not telling me, your partner, and only, I might add, when we ended up in a life or death situation that meant I need to know!’ </p>
<p>‘We’re not in a life or death situation, Danny, I told you that. I can tow us-’ </p>
<p>‘No changing the subject, Steven!’ </p>
<p>Steve sighed, sinking down in the rippling water an inch or so. ‘I knew you’d react like this,’ he muttered to the waves, and at that Danny's blood went up.  </p>
<p>‘Nuh-uh,’ he ordered, kneeling and slashing a hand through the air until it hit one of the light grey stripes on the dinghy with a thump. ‘Nope, no way. You’re the one with the secret fish parts, you don’t get to have the moral high ground. That’s mine, my own. Witness me and the having of it!’ </p>
<p>Slouching down in the boat again, he glared at Steve, who, looked equally as aggravated. To his credit though, there was definite guilt in his eyes when he finally looked up at Danny again.  </p>
<p>‘Look,’ Steve started, and the tinge of pink at his ears shifted slowly onto his cheeks as he darted a glance up at Danny. ‘It’s not like I didn’t think about it. But I’ve had one or two people in my life not react so well, alright? It’s caused me a few problems over the years. I didn’t want to risk that happening when we were... well, you know.’ </p>
<p>Danny did know. And, thinking of the problems people close to Steve had caused him so far – at least, the ones Danny <em> knew </em>about – he gave a reluctant nod, letting it go without fanfare. He made a note to himself, however, to get back to it later though so he could get more details out of Steve, maybe when he wasn’t stuck in a boat in the middle of the ocean and could go kick certain people’s asses. But for now, he moved on. </p>
<p>‘So who else knows?’ he demanded. When Steve put on his stoic military-guy face, Danny sighed. ‘I mean those who were ok with it, you doofus.’ </p>
<p>Weirdly, Steve seemed to relax fully at the insult, his scales glowing a bit brighter even through the water. ‘Not many. Mary. My dad knew, of course. He helped me a lot, when it first happened. Without him, I don’t know what-’ Steve broke off, cleared his throat, started again. ‘And Chin. He uh, he knows things, you know?’ </p>
<p>‘Anyone else?’ </p>
<p>‘Uh. Kono.’ </p>
<p>Danny’s calmness disappeared. <em>‘</em><em>Kono</em><em>?’</em> </p>
<p>‘That was an accident.’ </p>
<p>Danny sputtered. ‘<em>An</em> <em>acci</em><em>-</em>’ </p>
<p>‘She was surfing and I was swimming and...’ </p>
<p>‘And? What’d she do?’ </p>
<p>Steve pulled one of his faces. ‘Fell off her board. After that, she mainly just wanted to know if I could talk to dolphins.’ </p>
<p>‘Oh.’ Danny digested this for a moment. ‘Can you-’ </p>
<p>‘Not really the time, Danny.’ </p>
<p>‘Right.’ Danny crossed his arms and looked at Steve determinedly. ‘So. What does this mean?’ </p>
<p>‘What do you mean, what does this mean?’ </p>
<p>‘So what do we do? Now I know your big fishy secret and all. Apart from not ordering the salmon or whatever next team night.’ </p>
<p>Steve shrugged, lifting up his tail a little so its blues and greens gleamed softly under the sunlit waves, his hands gently brushing the water behind him to help him keep his balance. ‘I don’t know. I mean, I can help us get out of here for a start.’ </p>
<p>‘Good. You do that.’ </p>
<p>'And, ah, I’d be really grateful if you could keep this to-' </p>
<p>Danny interrupted him immediately. ‘Steve. Babe. What do you take me for?’ </p>
<p>Steve grinned at that and nodded, and Danny noticed that the waves around his shoulders seemed to dance a little more happily. ‘Thanks, Danny.’ </p>
<p>‘Whatever.’ Slumping back in the boat - dinghy – Danny raised his neck high enough to look at Steve, still floating easily in the water. ‘Home, Jeeves,’ he ordered him, lifting one imperial hand to point towards where he thought the shore might be. ‘And step on it, would you? I’d like to be home in time for you to cook me dinner.’ </p>
<p>He thought, afterwards, spouting out water as he wrung his shirt off into the great wide ocean while Steve pulled them steadily onwards, the violent splash Steve had made with his tail as he disappeared under the waves might not have been entirely accidental. </p>
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